In the aftermath of the recent USADA announcement, local cycling outlet mouths off.
“It’s like shooting fish in a barrel if the barrel was really easy to shoot fish in,” said local blog site loko c.t.”Writing a Lance Armstrong post is just too, too easy. It’s sick. It’s sad even.”
The lovable, amazingly-written blog site posted an article outlining the recent USADA report which totalled over 1,000 pages and included 26 eye witness accounts that testified to Lance Armstrong’s systematic doping practices. “Anyone who followed this for the past ten years already knew this stuff. But you put Lance Armstrong in the title of a blog post, people just lose it. They really do. You get people writing in, cursing your mother, citing crazy numbers and literally slinging yellow LIVESTRONG bands at me in the face,” said the handsome writer from his vacation home in Karlin.
loko c.t. has tried to put up 2-3 Lance Armstrong posts a week over the past year in order to get more site traffic. Behind “Emily Batty”, “Sausage” and “Janez Brajkovic”, “Lance Armstrong” is the fourth highest traffic tag on the fledgling website. In fact, the most viewed post on the site covers Lance’s final bowel movement just moments after retiring from the professional peloton at the Tour Down Under. “It was huge, just insanely huge, something Lance is very proud of I am sure. And the story was big, too,” he explained.
What will Lance Armstrong’s lasting legacy be? We asked the intrepid reporter. “I really don’t care. I’ve got all winter to try to come up with stuff to write and I’ve been stockpiling Armstrong pieces just in case I need them. I’ve got a Lance Over Doses piece, a pre-written obituary, and a Comeback 3.0 preview just in case the UCI folds and he returns to racing in 2015.”
We’ve got enough Armstrong articles to last for the next decade, so check back constantly so our site numbers go up.
Cheating is cheating. The past is the past. Just go ride your bike.