Really Good Famous Big Shots Prepare For Cherry-Parfait


The biggest challenge in bicycling EVER is just a few days off, and the biggest names are pouring out to try their form. 

Over nearly 100 miles and 5,500 feet of climbing, the cream shall rise directly to the top. That is the task at hand for pros like Cadel Evans, Alberto Contador, Chris Froome and Lance Armstrong. Somehow, those big names found out about the first-ever Cherry-Parfait, and see the event as the premier bicycle-related day in the entire world.

“The Cherry-Parfait has far surpassed the Tour de France, and I think you’ll see that reflected in attendance and fanfare in the next few years,” Evans said after his second stage win at the Tour of Utah. “At this point in my career, it puts me in a good position to win this race before the younger, faster guys know what’s up and beat me. So. Yeah.”

Alberto Contador will use the Cherry-Parfait as a return from a broken leg, and broken heart, at this year’s Tour. “Mi corazón está lleno de pérdidas después de la Tour, y esta es mi oportunidad para vengarse de destino. Los simples mortales pueden ser sino peones en los juegos de los dioses, pero de vez en cuando, podemos hacer un movimiento decisivo de nuestra propia,” he said at a recent press conference. He noted that his soon-to-be-teammate, Peter Sagan, would not start, though, like, he really wanted to.

Lance Armstrong will make his first start in a while. While the rider does hold a life time ban, the race is not affiliated with the UCI, USA Cycling, or really any governing body whatsoever. “They aren’t testing, so…but that’s not why I’m going. It’ll be fun.” Armstrong is expected to be really, really strong, especially on the climb to the top of Schomberg. It’s a 2.2 mile climb that doesn’t hit the steep pitches like Hlavka or Trumbull. “Schomberg suits me. I’m going to crush it there,” Armstrong boldly promised.

Like Contador, Froome’s return to action is highly anticipated. As he gears up for the Vuelta, the Cherry-Parfait is an obvious testing ground. We asked Froome about his initial impressions, but he gave the exact same answers as those for the Tour and Paris-Nice, so we’ll skip including it. He did state that he would be the outright leader and Brad Wiggins could take his adidas sneakers and go ride the track for all he cared.

The ride leave Brew TC at 7.30am, with 100 and 50 mile options, but why do the 50, you wuss? Unless you want to, that’s cool too. The entry fee is one non-perishable food item to be donated to Father Fred.

100 Mile Double Scoop Route.

50 Mile Single Scoop Route.  

No actual racers were interviewed, ever, for this or any other publication on this website.

A Website.

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