September Out’n’Back Iceman Report: It’s Sandy


Drew was looking for donuts. 


Yeah, crazy right? Sand. 

A #SOLID turnout for this morning’s Out’n’Back with unseasonably warm temperatures. Normally, we’re debating arm warmers and vest versus jackets for even a relaxed 9am departure time, but this September has been steamy. Turning up the thermostat even more (“Nice segway.”- Sean Kickbush) was the appearance of not just Brad White, but Kaitlyn Patterson and Alex Vanias, lending some looks, brains, and horsepower (you guys argue about who contributed what) to the locals.

Sand Lakes Road is, and this I’m dead serious, the least sandy I’ve seen it. The ride out was steady, with the two DROP BAR DUDES (really hope that becomes a thing) myself and Dan Ellis rode at the front. Put your time on the front while you can, especially if you know you’re going to be not on the front later. I think that’s from Doctor Who.

After a quick snack/pee/Instagram break in K-Town, and Brad White suggesting we all get women’s bibs, Josh Zelinski lead us out through what really should be called the Josh Zelinski Party Zone (CUE THE MUSIC!) which ends at Smith Lake Road. That was enough to break up the group, and after I got in the way for a while, the descent of Water Bottle Hill blew up the group, with Jorden Wakeley, Sean Kickbush, Jeff Owens, Brad White, and frickin’ Braiden Voss leaving everyone to literally eat their dust. Yeah, Braiden made the front group. If he doesn’t prick his finger dissecting frogs in fifth grade science class, he’s going to win Iceman by four days.

Jason Johnson got 4,000 flats in five miles, bringing us to a point. I’m not going to call it “The Rules” because they wanted to sue me last time, so let’s call it “The Regulations”; if you’re going on a bike ride, you need a tube, and a lever, and at least 60 grams of CO2. That’s right, 60. Bring a multi-tool, a jock strap, and a gun, too, probably.

Back at Timber Ridge, Norte was having their Donut Ride with Peace, Love, and Little Donuts. Ty Schmidt is a smart guy. He hid the donuts with one anonymous parent so NO ONE KNEW WHERE THE DONUTS WERE! Drew Humphrey had his head on a swivel looking for them, too. The kids had to actually ride before they got a donut. Will Unger was tasked with bringing me one, but he failed. Thanks bunches, Will. Wow.

A special thanks to Breakaway Cafe for letting me eat a cookie on the way home. I wouldn’t have made it, even after the moral support from Eric Mannix, John Edingfield, and Matt Harris.

The BIG Out and Back is Sunday, October 15. To stay in the loop about the ride, join the FB event page and make sure you’re in the kolo t.c. Gentlemen’s Club. It’s for ladies, too.


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