As dramatically hinted at last night, we got to see the MegaCavern Bike Park. It was sweet. 

Peasey may have led the wonderful people at Louisville MegaCavern that kolo t.c. was a much, much bigger deal than it is. But, it got us The Hook-Up. We rolled into Louisville late Monday night after running from the rain in Ashenplace (thanks Jeff) but right at close. We figured, “Hey, it’s a big hole, maybe they will just let us poke around.” They did more than that. Jacque, the manager, had Daniel (and there’s two Daniel’s, so D1 will be full-on Daniel, D2 just Dan) pick us up in the Gator and drive us around and give us a tour.

It’s late, it’s a Monday night, and we’ve got this gigantic cavern to ourselves. We’re 100 feet underground, right under a Wendy’s and a Kmart. And there’s a bike park there, with X-Games quality jumps (the dude that designed it has done jumps for all sorts of events), lazer lights, and in the background, full-size dump trucks running.

MegaCavern is home to all sorts of stuff, including servers, storage, and a little treat from home, too. The majority of Louisville’s salt reserves, used for the 2 times a year the roads ice up, are nestled just a stone’s throw from the bike park. That salt is from Michigan. You are welcome, Kentucky. Daniel gave us a great tour and we promised to get back ASAP. Which was in the morning.

Meanwhile, on the surface, the rain we had run to Louisville to escape from had followed us. I was crushed, sitting in my seat in the Jeep like a soggy pool noodle. We tried to get a room; full. Another place, full. All of the places, full. Because of a ROBOTICS conference, people. And you could see the robotics dudes around town, and the real ones. They had sallow skin and think glasses and tended to the extremes of the human anatomy, but they were strutting around with hotel rooms whilst Pease and I, dead tired, had nothing but another serving of Subway, which had, by this point, started oozing from my pores and hair follicles.

We drove waaaaayyy south to Shepardsville, which is awesome, and actually better for the bike riding. We got in in the wee hours of 10pm, which is 2 hours past my bedtime. I was going full toddler, limping in and falling on the bed.

In the morning the rain was still falling, and I almost punched everyone in the breakfast room at the same time. PISSED LEVEL 65. Which is high for me. So we chewed our breakfast slowly to see if the rain would stop. Nope. We did laundry for $3.50. Still raining. We ‘worked’, which entailed Pease actually working and me actively avoiding 485 emails chilling in my inbox since Sunday morning (if you received a reply from me, count yourself lucky). 

So we headed back to the MegaCavern and shredded some gnar. I am about as exXxtreme as skim milk, but that place gets under your skin, brah! More so when Dan, (D2 if you want to) showed up, with a sweet beard, tattoos, and a dirt jumpin’ bike. We had only brought Tim’s Salsa Fargo Ti, and since my Focus Cayo is not paid for yet (thanks, Boss) we decided to take turns on the Fargo for a bit. Pease did a hot lap on the cross country course while I watched Dan huck and chuck off some BIG jumps, drop in off shipping containers, and just generally make Tim and I look like octogenarians. That perception was enhanced when I was spotted taking in a large poster board about the MegaCavern playing a key role as a bomb shelter, chiefly during the Cuba Missile Crisis. I enjoyed the FACTS and pointed out grammatical errors. (If you do that to me I’ll cut you.)

MegaCaverns will be offering rentals soon, with all types of bikes, with the possibility of a pedal assist fat bike, because of why the hell not? Fat bikes rule. Tim and I both thought having a fat bike there would be a total blast, although I thought it would be great to have my ‘cross bike there and really practice bike handling over the different beginner and intermediate lines and loops. This is Dan Curnayn/Eric Pollard/Steve Lagerquist/John Ammond-Land here. They need to get here. 

So Dan’s over there listening to a sweet Radiohead cover, with Dan ready to drop in, ’bout to do a backflip or whatever, and I’m sitting in the dirt watching and just thinking, “This was not a part of the plan”. Because it wasn’t. I should have been on a mountain at that moment, and it kills me in a lot of ways that I’m not. But at the same time, I would never have gotten a tour of the Louisville MegaCavern, never would have met either Dan or Daniel, never would have seen this dude doing sweet jumps. And maybe I need this more than that, and maybe it all happened exactly the way it had to. Plus, I wouldn’t have met all the cool dudes you’ll meet in Part Two, ridden the crazy roads in Radcliff, fallen in love with the waitress at Christi’s (this is all Part Two stuff, hang with me).

So we’re leaving MegaCaverns and rolling hard back to Shepardsville and the rain lets up, and we are busting to meet Tim’s buddy in the metropolis of Radcliff, Kentucky. And you’ll have to tune in tomorrow for THAT, including my love affair with a waitress who doesn’t even know my name…